Solar Flare
by not done baking
Summary: ..A Sudden Temporary Outburst of Energy From a Small Area.. a series of one shots post Eclipse. weddings, compromises, minor lemon, angst, love, family, tears, stress, holidays. No ongoing plot. Updated sporadically when inspiration comes.
1. Like Whoa

_Life is good I can't complain,  
I mean I could but no one's listening.  
Your image overwhelms my brain and it feels good.  
Good. Good.  
Now I'm rolling my window down.  
I love the wind, but I hate the sound.  
Your like a tattoo that I can't remove and it feels good.  
It feels good. It feels good._  
LIKE WHOA, ALY & AJ

**.SOLAR FLARE.**

"Is that really a reason you don't want to change me? That's so-" I searched for a word that could sum up what I thought of Edward's lousy excuse, "lame."

"It's not lame, Bella," he laughed, "I think it's called being in love, hopefully you know a thing or two about that," he bent over me on my bed and kissed me, not staying there nearly long enough, "I don't want to have to see you in pain."

"Edward, I thought I explained this to you before: you are my life. I would do anything for you. If that means going through that kind of pain for three days, I'll deal. Besides, if the pain I had in my arm last year is any indication of what it will feel like the emotional pain of growing old with you would definitely outweigh the physical pain of being changed."

"Bella, I think you really underestimate the pain. What you felt in your arm was nothing compared to how it feels once it takes over your entire body-"

I covered his mouth with my hand, "Edward, have you ever spent everyday watching yourself get older than your future, your soul mate, your, ugh, fiancé?"

"You know that doesn't matter to me. I'll still think your beautiful, no matter how many wrinkles are on your face."

I gasped at him and touched my cheeks, "I don't have wrinkles. Besides, it doesn't matter what you think," I wiggled my finger that was decked out in our engagement ring, "We have a deal, Edward."

"We can't exactly call it a deal if it's this one sided now, Bella, dear," Edward smiled my favorite half smile.

"I don't know. I'm still sticking to our original deal," I smiled, "including our augmentation of it," I rolled over and he willingly moved with me. I kissed him, pushing the limits. I played with his collar and the top few buttons. I loved the new found power I had.

"I thought I made it quite clear that the deal no longer applies?" Edward said in between the tender kisses, "I'm quite willing to go ahead with your _demands_."

My heart fluttered and Edward smiled even more. He was making this terribly hard on me as I was on him. I rolled back over to my side of the small bed, wishing that Alice would set up more of the sham slumber parties that I had learned to enjoy to their full potential.

But Charlie would get suspicious if I was constantly at the Cullen's, I was already there more than normal due to wedding plans. And as Alice had said being a Cullen meant I had to be painstakingly responsible; I had to put Charlie and Renee first. I had only a few more weeks with them, I had forever with Edward.

"Edward, no!" I laughed, his lips and breath tickling a fine trail down my neck, collar bone and the neckline of my shirt, "We're doing this the proper way! Or do you need the 'responsibilities speech' from Alice?"

He groaned and gave up his seduction of me, "Please no more speeches from Alice!"

Alice had turned into quiet the wedding tyrant, she might be small, but give her an ounce of power and she would multiply it to the max. I wondered if it was possible to have more than one talent, because Alice would definitely have the abilities to become the next worldwide known tyrant.

"She got to you, too?" I asked, concerned about his happiness, "Do you want me to give her a talk? She knows that if she goes overboard I'll never talk to her again and I think that if what she's doing is making you upset it qualifies for some good old fashion threatening," I said with mock anger.

"Like you could scare Alice," Edward scoffed.

"I could call off the wedding and we could go to Vegas tonight. We could be married before Charlie even realized I was gone!"

His eyes lit up, "You know I'm more than willing to do that."

Part of me did to, most of me did. I wanted to run off with Edward like a spontaneous young couple desperately in love. I wanted to kiss passionately in the car after the stranger at the chapel pronounced us as Edward most desperately wanted us to be known as, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen.

"And face the wrath of Alice?"

Edward shrugged with an air of nonchalance, "So she doesn't talk to us for a few decades… like I plan to let you out of that bed," he growled into my neck, "Be selfish for once Bella, please."

I thought of Jake and the pain he was in. No one at La Push would answer my calls or return my letters. I was being selfish and hateful just by making this choice.

"But Alice bought the dress already," I said searching desperately for reasons to not disturb Alice's delight.

"And I've seen it. And you would look gorgeous in it, but I like you better in those old jeans you wear while doing chores. The ones with the holes in the knees," his fingers brushed an icy hot line down my thigh to my knee, "Alice can find another use for that dress."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. I don't care," I looked at his face. He was desperate, his eyes were smoldering again.

"I thought you weren't going to convince me to do anything your way anymore? I thought this was going to be about what I wanted," he looked away, ashamed, "Are you getting cold feet, Edward?" I was shocked. After all the hoopla he had made about getting married was he trying to get out of it?

"No, yes… no. I don't want this big fancy wedding anymore than you do. But I also don't want you to give into… peer pressure."

I sighed, I wanted to give into Edward's pleas, "Edward, this is what Charlie and Renee need. Please, just let them have it. I'm going to have to break their hearts in a few months, let me give them this."

He sighed and pulled my blankets around me, pressing my head to his chest, "Selfless to the end," he muttered.

"Except with you," I smiled up at him, "I'm not going to share you with anyone."

"Good," he kissed the top of my head and shifted under the covers, "Because I don't plan to share you with anyone else either."

* * *

AN: I don't think this story is going to have a continuous plot... I'm just going to write the fluffy stuff that we all know is going to follow Eclipse. Wedding, fulfilling certain demands ;D and Bella being changed...

I'll probably be pushing the T rating in the next chapter or the one after that but I'm sure you guys can survive. I'll warn you if it it goes graphicer than I thought... nice grammar.


	2. Forever

Thank you to Ranma 15177 for finding the errors.

"_Don't brood. Get on with living and loving. You don't have forever."  
__unknown_

**.SOLAR FLARE.**

"Where do you want to go?" Edward asked me. Alice had directed us to plan our honeymoon. I was scared she was going to make us write lines if we disobeyed.

_I will listen to Alice. I will listen to Alice. I will listen to Alice. I will listen to Alice._

"I don't know, Edward. The only place I've ever been is Volterra," he raised he eyebrows, "Don't worry, I don't want to go back until we have to. But, it's not like I have a vast knowledge of the utmost honeymoon vacation spots."

"Well," Edward smiled, shuffling through the brochures on the desk, "do you want to go somewhere warm?" he held up a brightly colored glossy flier advertising for Aruba, "It's sunny all day, but they have a great night life there. We could go to the discos and dance all night," he bent in and kissed my neck, "What was the phrase you used?" he pulled on a strand of my hair, "Oh yes, we could 'sleep' together all day."

I blushed, "I hate dancing, the second part doesn't sound so bad though."

"Well, what about Paris? The weather isn't that warm, it rains a lot. It's the city of romance," another look of suggestiveness crossed his face. I smiled. I liked this new side of Edward.

"Why can't we just ask Alice which one were going to choose?"

"Because, silly girl," he tapped my head, "she won't know until we do. Where do you want to go? We could go to England, very rainy there. Or New Zealand. I heard they were all into the extreme sports there. We could propel off tall structures in a safer fashion," Edward said light heartedly.

I frowned; I knew Edward hadn't said what he had said to upset me. He was only joking. But the joke hit me hard; I had still heard nothing from Jacob. I was getting worried. Charlie hadn't said anything either, which made it just as bad. It was possible he knew something and it was possible he didn't. The only way I would ever find out was if Edward heard him thinking about whatever dreadful thing that had happened to Jake and that was only if Edward decided to tell me.

"Sorry," Edward said, knowing where my mind had gone, "You still haven't heard from him?"

"No," I shook my head, "Edward, you don't know anything, do you?"

"I'd tell you if I knew anything, Bella," he said. He sounded truthful, but he had been known to lie before.

"Would you? You've kept things from me before," I looked down at the colorful brochures.

"I thought that was best for you, I was wrong," he lifted my face up to meet his eyes, "I'll tell you everything. I'll tell you the meaning of life once I know it," he smiled.

"You're the meaning of life, Edward," I wiped away my tears.

"I hardly deserve that, let alone you," he pushed his chair closer to mine and I bent my head up to receive my waiting kiss, "And I can't wait till I can get you alone," he said against my lips. He slid his feet onto my seat and pulled me over his legs, he cradled me against him. His lips never left mine.

"Now, Edward I know you can have multiple trains of thought at once but I'm certain that Bella isn't able to think about much when you're kissing her like that. And I'm not too sure that you can think of much else either, of course, I'm not the one to ask," Alice said sweetly. I pulled away from Edward and groaned against his chest, "And I really don't think that kissing is going to help you on your honeymoon," she paused rethinking her last statement.

"Well, I don't think it's going to help you _plan _your honeymoon," she smiled her angelic smile and dumped more brochures on the table, "Could you please make a decision? It's driving me crazy!"

"Maybe we should focus, Bella," Edward said with a smirk.

"Ugh! Can't we just draw a name out of a hat?"

He sighed, his head tilted to the side deep in thought, "Okay! Stand up," he pushed me off his lap and dragged me over to the center of the kitchen.

I resisted, "What are we doing?"

"Trust me," he placed his hands on my shoulder and kissed my neck.

"I thought kissing wasn't going to help us decide," I said but leaned into his mouth, closing my eyes. I felt him smile

He pushed me away from him, "Close your eyes," I did and he began to spin me like I was going to hit a piñata. I put my arms out trying to find my balance again. When he decided I was dizzy enough he walked me to the table, "Point to one."

I held up my arm and swung it to the left- at least I thought it was the left. I heard Edward take a sharp intake of breath, he grabbed my wrist and swung it the other way and pressed my finger onto a soft, thick brochure, "Open your eyes."

I opened my eyes and smiled up at Edward, his eyes were full of mischievousness "Nice job letting me choose," his lips pulled up into my favorite crooked smile and I felt my knee joints melt.

"Just look," he nudged me closer to the table and held up the brochure.

I looked at the bright paper, "The Mediterranean? Edward! It's sunny there!" I turned around to stare at him, still holding the pamphlet, "How are we going to travel there," I looked closer at the papers, "and by boat? Edward, someone will notice if we never come out of our room," I smiled to myself, my mind wondering over what we would be doing while passing the daylight hours.

"Not if we're the only people on the boat. And it's really a yacht, Bella," I turned around; I could tell that my eyes were as wide as saucers.

"A yacht? You can drive a yacht? Edward, what kind of honeymoon is that? Won't you have to be driving the yacht the entire time?" I melded myself to him as he wrapped his arms around my waist, his grin would make Cheshire cat envious.

"Of course not. Driving a boat isn't like driving a car, Bella. We just have to set a course and check up on it every once in awhile. I can show you how to do that. It'll be fun," he spun us around the kitchen and lifted me up onto the counter. He pushed my legs apart, leaning in between them on the counter, his arms leaning on the other side of my thighs,

"We can go on land at night. Sample the nightlife; you might really enjoy it," I leaned back on the counter and Edward looked down at the slice of skin that was showing between my jeans and shirt, "Or we can just stay in the room the entire time," he bent down and kissed the exposed skin. My entire body quivered and melted heat rose in my stomach while ice ran down my spine.

I looked down at Edward after some time, his eyes were dark with lust, "Do you really think we'll be able to sleep together?"

He raised his eyebrow at my phrase, "I can't say, Bella. We will definitely try," his finger traced the waistline of my jeans, "Boundaries will be broken."

"Please save it you two, I just hunted and I don't want to know if our kind can throw up," Emmett said, slamming the back door noisily. I fell back against the long counter and groaned.


	3. Bad Wallpaper

_Thank you to Ranma 15177 for finding the errors.  
_

"_Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, __like bad wallpaper."  
__Friedrich Nietzsche_

**.SOLAR FLARE.**

"I'm going to throw up," I said between breaths.

Alice pulled back my hair, "No you won't," she ran her hair product covered hands through the waves.

I felt my stomach tie into knots, "How would you know?" I said, clutching at my stomach. She laughed her bell like laugh, "Never mind, stupid question."

I sat there, hyperventilating, while Alice picked through my hair with combs and oddly shaped bobby pins.

"If you don't stop hyperventilating I'm going to end up stabbing you in the eye with the eye liner and then your eye is going to get puffy and red and then Alice is going to yell and possibly hurt me. And we don't want that do we?" Rosalie said in a sickeningly sweet voice.

I stopped breathing.

Rosalie groaned, "If you go blue I'm not going to be able to match the foundation."

I tried to take a deep controlled breath, "Why do we need to bother with this anyway? I don't like any of it. Edward doesn't like any of it. I know for a fact that Edward would prefer to do all of this with me in my old jeans."

Alice yanked back my hair, "First off, Edward doesn't know what he wants. Secondly, I threw those jeans away."

"Edward does to know what he wants, he never gave up asking me to marry him," her last statement was processed through my hairspray fuzzed brain, "You threw away my jeans? I liked those jeans!"

"They had holes in them. Ripped up jeans are going to be over in two months. Bella, as a future vampire and beauty queen of many schools to come it's up to you to be a trendsetter. Having a sister that can see the future makes that much easier of course," she patted my shoulder reassuringly as if I should be stressing over the future of high school fashion, "Don't worry, I'll help you along the way."

"Oh, gee, thanks," I said dryly.

"You'll appreciate it, someday," Alice said, she sprayed my hair once more with hairspray.

"Are you sure?"

Alice thought for a bit, "Well, no. But only because you haven't decided that you really do appreciate it and understand why I put you through everything I do."

"Oh, Alice, how do you stand putting yourself so out of the way for other people?" I said, my voice thick with sarcasm.

"I don't know, Bella. But, someone has to do it," she stated proudly. Rosalie snorted and Alice raised her eyebrow at her, "You're all done."

"Oh, thank God," I pulled myself out from the chair and grabbed the counter nearby; my legs were wobbly from not being used for so long.

"Oh, don't be so ungrateful," Alice rolled here eyes and walked me over to a mirror, "Shoes, Rose."

I saw a white flash fly through the air and my simple white flats, "I suppose Marc by Marc Jacobs shoes aren't exactly era correct, but they will have to do. We can't have you tripping down the aisle."

I gasped as she slid the white leather flats onto my feet, "I'm not going to trip, am I?"

"I don't believe so. But nothing's written in stone," she grinned madly at me, "You know, this went pretty well for a practice run."

I groaned realizing that I would have to go through all of this all over again tomorrow.

Alice sighed, "Go change and take off your make up. I'm sure Edward wants to know whether or not you endured this."

"Just barely," I mumbled on my way to the bathroom. I pulled back on my jeans before taking the dress off in fear that Alice would try to throw these ones away as well.

I bent over the sink once I put on my sweatshirt and set to washing off the make up. I heard a knock at the door, "No, Alice. No more!" I complained, leaning my forehead on the water faucet.

"It's not Alice, love," Edward said, "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," I sighed and continued scrubbing the layers of foundation, concealer, eye shadow and whatever else Rosalie had put on me.

"You're going to scrub your skin off," Edward complained, leaning against the counter looking oh-so modelesque.

"Tell it to, Alice. She's the one who insisted on having me wear all of this stuff," I winced as the soap and mascara ran into my eye.

"Come here," Edward said smiling. He held out his hand and I dropped the wash cloth in his hand. He lifted me up onto the counter next to the sink and held the back of my head while he gently washed the make up off, "You should really stand your ground with her, Bella."

"I know. I just don't want to let her down. And she's great at giving guilt trips," I couldn't meet Edward's eyes. The moment was somehow too tender for what we were doing.

"It's your face, love, but I would like your features to still be there after the wedding. Do you want me to talk to Alice?" he kissed my cheek and I winced, it really was rather raw.

"It's fine. I'll be fine. My skin will survive. I'll put my foot down next time. I suppose I better learn how soon, if I'm going to have her as a sister for the rest of eternity," I smiled as did Edward.

"Come on, I have something to show you," he helped me down from the counter and we walked up to his room.

"What is it?" I laid down on the bed and propped myself up on my hands.

"It's our travel plans," he laid out a huge map of the world on the floor and I leaned over the side of the bed to get a clear look at it, "The red is where we'll be traveling," he said, pointing out the red lines criss-crossing the Atlantic from Florida to the tip of Spain and then swooping through the Mederteranian, little red dots were splattered around Spain, France and Italy.

"Edward, isn't that the Bermuda Triangle? What if we get lost in it or something?"

Edward smiled at my superstition, "Well, then I'll change you and we'll live on the yacht for the rest of our lives. It couldn't be that bad," his smile was playful and I felt that familiar heat rise in my stomach again.

"What are you going to eat, anyway?"

"Sharks, I suppose," he said with a carefree spirit.

"Sharks?! Can I watch?" he looked up at me, his jaw was clenched.

"No, Bella. You'll need to stay in the cabin. Please don't argue."

I ignored his plea and went down to the floor next to him, "I'm not quite sure that's fair, Edward. I'm going to have to hunt too soon. What's it going to hurt if I watch you?"

His hands reached up to play with a lock of my hair, his face was deep in concentration. He grabbed my hands and held them up to his face, he took a deep breath, "Bella, do you know why sharks generally attack humans?"

"They smell blood and the smell causes them to want to feed on the person," I said vaguely.

"Exactly. The way my kind hunts is very much like that. Once I smell the blood I don't exactly control what I do. Of course right now it's easy to control myself, you have no open cuts," I began to interrupt him but he covered my mouth with his hand, "I know I said it doesn't bother me anymore, but I'm not sure I could say the same when I'm rabid with the hunger and pain I experience while hunting," he took his hand down and kissed me, "Sorry."

"Will you be the one to teach me how to hunt?"

Edward laughed and I looked up at him in shock; it wasn't like there was a vampire handbook out there I was reading, "You don't have to have someone teach you, it's just pure instinct. Once you smell blood, you'll know what to do."

"But will you be there?"

"Werewolves couldn't tear me away from you, my love."


	4. Fools Rush In

Thank you to Ranma 15177 for finding the errors.

_Fools rush in, where wise men never go  
__Fools rush in, where wise men never go.  
__But wise men never fall in love, so how are they to know?  
__When we met, I felt my life begin.  
__So open up your heart and let this fool rush in.  
__FOOLS RUSH IN, ELVIS PRESLEY_

**.SOLAR FLARE.**

Edward was the first to pull away, I covered my face; laughing.

I had feared that after everything was said and done I would be terrified and have this permanent knot in my stomach. But it seemed that instead of having the butterflies turn themselves into knots they had flown to my feet. I truly felt like I was flying next to Edward as we walked back down the aisle.

As we exited the chapel Edward sped up, nearly picking me up so I wouldn't trip. I heard Alice laugh as the doors of the church closed. Edward picked me up, hugging my waist, he spun us around the small porch.

"Alice is going to kill you for ruining my dress," I said, looking up into the rainy sky.

"I don't care," he said dreamily into my neck, "You're my wife now. Forever and ever."

"Till death do us part," I said, holding back a laugh, "Edward," I looked down at him, putting my arms on his shoulders for a little more balance, "We're living every Romeo and Juliet's dream."

"Lucky us," Edward let his grasp on me slip so that I was face to face with him, "Lucky me," he said softly, almost to himself. He looked at me directly, staring deep into my eyes. It was as if he thought that if he stared long enough he would be able to read my mind.

I shook my head, a smile had crept unknowingly onto my face, "No, lucky me," I twisted my head to the side, kissing him. This kiss was deeper, farther than we had gone before. I felt and heard something between a moan and a gasp come out of my throat. Edward smiled against me, I let my arms go around him, my fingers dancing in his hair.

All of the sudden a flash bulb went off in front of us and I pulled away, surprised. I felt my face turn ten shades of red and Edward smiled at me, I turned towards the intruder, "Alice, that was mean."

"Yeah, but it was great picture," she smiled wickedly, "Edward Cullen, was that tongue?"

I gasped and turned away, not wanting Alice and Edward to see my extremely red face.

Against Edward's chest I felt him hold back a laugh, "Alice, Bella and I are going back to the house now. We're going to leave once our bags are packed," Edward picked me up and I hid my face in his coat.

"Leave the dress out," she called after us, "It'll have to be dry cleaned now that you ruined it, Edward. You're going to pay the bill."

He held me closer to his chest and called out, "It was worth it," he then looked down at me seriously, "It was all worth it," Edward said more quietly.

Edward sat me down in his car and quickly started it.

"When does our plane leave?" I leaned against Edward's shoulder, not wanting the distance between us to become too drastic.

"In a few hours, your bags are already packed, we just need to go pick them up," Edward smiled at me, obviously proud of himself for lying to Alice like that.

"Do you really think Alice isn't upset about us not doing the whole reception thing? She really wanted to plan that," I said, worried that Alice was hiding her hurt and disappointment.

"She thinks this is the only flight we can get out on. She's perfectly fine with it," Edward said confidently.

I scoffed, "You do realize she can see the future, right? She would know all the flight times… actually, she just needs to be able to go online, Edward. Not exactly one of your best fool proof plans."

"Yeah, but she's been so busy with planning for the wedding and making sure everything would go perfectly I don't think she's had time to look up flight times or peak into the airports flight schedule."

* * *

**AN:** Sorry this is so short, if you know me, you know I hate wedding scenes. I hate reading them, I hate writing them, I hate watching them. End of story.


	5. Bite Me

Thank you to Ranma 15177 for finding the errors.

((Ignore the eighth line in the poem, I know it doesn't work for Twilight.))

_Bite me, vampire, drink my blood.  
__I assure you it tastes good.  
__I want to be a vampire, too,  
__I want to hunt for blood with you,  
__Wander together through the night,  
__And share all blood 'till morning light.  
__  
__At daytime I'll lay in your arms  
__And sleep all day, so nice and warm.  
__It will be great, just you and me,  
__Vampires together, wait and see.  
__Never be lonely, never blue,  
__Because, my vampire, I love you.  
__Yady, 1996_

**.SOLAR FLARE.**

"Edward," I complained, speaking a disquisition with just one word. It had been a week since we had gotten back from our honeymoon and Edward still hadn't changed me. Every day it was a new excuse.

_I haven't hunted._

_I'm not ready._

_One more night, please._

_You look tired, you should get some more sleep._

_I want to take you on a real date._

_Bella…_

Or Edward's most wicked excuse, him kissing me senseless.

"Edward, you can't put this off any longer. You're breaking your promise by doing this, you do realize that right?" he looked up at me on the bed, his jaw was tight and his eyes looked guilty, "Edward, if you don't change me tonight I'll go to Carlisle or Alice and I really don't want to have to do that.

"I married you. You bought me a new car. You submitted our tuition for Alaska. What more do you want?" I was on my knees on the bed, bending over him, trying to force the answer out of his dark, but talkative eyes.

"Forever," he said so softly I wasn't sure he meant for me to hear.

"We can't have forever if I'm human."

We stared at each other for moments, minutes, hours. Days? I didn't know, I simply got lost in his dark eyes my own eyes trying to find the answer he was going to give me.

He blinked, "Go change into something more comfortable."

I didn't know how to respond. I knew Edward was upset about having to do this, I didn't want to make it any harder on him.

He smiled tightly, "Come here," he pulled me close to his cold hard chest. I sunk into him and kissed the cold skin I could find; his neck, his exposed collarbone, his cheek, his jaw, "I love you, Bella. I love you more than you'll ever know."

He rocked us back and forth, more to calm himself down than to calm me down, "I don't want to hurt you."

I pulled out of his grip and kissed him tenderly on the lips, "You have to hurt the ones you love, Edward," I said against him.

I slipped off the bed and went to our dresser. Alice had gone crazy shopping for me, sweats of every color, every t-shirt of every design. I slowly changed, feeling Edward's eyes on me. I blushed, the red running over my face and onto my chest.

"I'm going to miss that so much," he said softly, sighing.

I smiled, "Edward, I think I'll still change clothes when I'm a vampire," I felt a rush of cold air and Edward was standing behind me, his hands tentatively brushing against the blush.

"You know what I mean, Bella," he kissed my reddened shoulder.

"I do," I turned around, clutching the shirt to my chest, still somewhat shy in front of him, "but think about how much you would miss me if I were to die."

He put both of his strong, cold hands on either side of my face, forcing me to look at him, "I've experienced that, Bella. I've lived while I thought you were dead. And during that time I_ was_ dead, I had planned on killing myself. If you really were to die, Bella, I wouldn't let myself be on this Earth for more than a day. I would find some way to kill myself," he sighed and looked away. His hands dropped from my face and wrapped around me, "And hopefully, we would end up together in the end."

"Oh! So you think I would go to hell? And, pray tell, what for?" I tried to lighten the moment.

"No, maybe there really is a heaven," he said, not revealing what was really going on in his thoughts.

"Edward," I pulled away from him and walked across the room, putting my shirt on, "Please don't talk like that."

He was sitting down on the bed again. The atmosphere was awkward and tense. Edward looked angry and gentle all at the same time and there was something else there; uncertainty.

I sat down next to him and stared at my bare feet, "One time when I was 13, my mom forced me to go to the school dance. I didn't talk to anyone at that school, so I sat next to the wall and I stared at my Converse the entire time."

"I would have asked you dance," he said quietly.

I laughed and shook my head, "No, you wouldn't have. I had braces and a face full of acne."

"I'd still love you even if you had flesh eating disease."

I rolled my eyes.

Silence crept back into the room.

There were some silences I liked with Edward, the ones where we both willingly pulled away from a kiss, the moments right before I fall asleep on a good day, late night study sessions.

There are even some moments of awkwardness I enjoy; mainly the ones right before we break some boundaries.

But this, this was the worst kind of awkward silence.

I watched the minutes pass by on the clock Edward had bought after I annoyed him, complaining that I didn't have a perfect internal clock like he did. One, two, five, ten, fifteen.

My feet were fidgeting. And my back was beginning to hurt. Edward was completely stationary.

"Edward, I think it's kinda like taking a band aid off."

"Excuse me?"

"I suppose being a hundred year old vampire you never had to deal with band aids before. Well, when you leave a band aid on for too long this sticky residue just gets stuck on your skin and it's really painful to take off… but you know you have to. And once you do take the band aid off it's great because the wound is all healed and you don't have to deal with the band aid anymore and the pain is gone."

He grasped me in an almost too tight hug, "I love you, Bella. More than you could ever know, more than I know how to express."

"I love you, too, Edward."

He looked at me, worried, concerned, frightened. He licked his lips and kissed each of my hands, his eyes never leaving mine. He picked me up and cradled me on his lap, "I'm never going to leave your side, Bella."

"I think that was part of our vows, so that's a good thing."

"I won't ever let you get hurt."

"I know."

"I'll never let you be sad or worry or be afraid."

"Or wait, that's a good one," I said impatiently.

He took a deep breath and blew it out forcefully in my face, "Let me have my moment," I smiled up at him, "You'll never need anything, Bella. I'll give you everything your heart desires, if you want the stars and the moon I'll figure out how to get them for you. I'll build a ladder to the sky and get them for you-"

"What, with your purple crayon?

"Excuse me?" his eyebrow raised.

"It's a book, not an innuendo."

"Oh," he began to braid my hair, "We're going to be so happy together."

His lips trembled at my neck, his venom cold against the still taught skin. "I love you, Bella," he whispered gently. His teeth grazed my skin, it felt like a paper cut, the venom slipped between the frayed skin. My eyes crossed at the searing pain.

"Edward, more, please," I grasped at his arm. It hurt but it wasn't enough.

His sharp teeth punctured my skin and my vein. I felt the blood poor out of me, Edward gasped and swallowed. A sound of pure ecstasy left him. And then he sped the venom through my veins. I twitched in pain, but he held me close, "Just a little more, Bella."

I faintly felt his teeth again. Forearm. Elbow. Wrists. Hips. Behind my knees. Ankles.

Gasping. Twitching. Moaning. Groaning. The pain filled me at every angle. There was no escape from it. Edward's cold kisses covered me. There was no end or beginning to this pain. It stretched on forever. I couldn't remember anything besides this pain. It would never end. Never stop. There would be no relief.

I wanted to die.

* * *

"Edward! I don't know what to wear!" I stood in front of the closet staring at all the clothes Alice had bought me in the past few days.

"_Sweats aren't acceptable at school anymore, and it's not like I would let you wear them if they were_," she had said.

"You could wear that and stay here all day, you don't need to go back to school," he said, motioning to the jean and lace bra ensemble I currently sported.

"You wish. I want to go back to school, Edward. I'm bored."

"How could you be bored? A nice big bed, me, an endless supply of naughty lingerie you can model for me."

I gritted my teeth and tried not to smile, he knew exactly how to get me.

"No, we're going to school," I paused, "or I won't let you kiss me for a month."

He looked horrified and then smiled, "But we can still make love? That could be fun. Kinda like faux bondage," he waggled is eyebrows at me.

"No! No touching. Nothing. Whatsoever," I smiled wickedly, "And I'll wear that little outfit from last night every single day."

"You wouldn't."

"I would," he leaned back on the bed and gave up on his sexcapades, "Now, what should I wear?"

"Alice wants you to wear that white dress."

I sighed. I did not want to wear that white mod dress, "Alice probably wants to be a few inches taller but that's not going to happen either."

Edward laughed and got up, he pulled something from the closet, "Wear this," I looked at the plain blue t-shirt. It wasn't my favorite. Long-sleeve and fitted and a turtleneck. The cloth was soft and obviously expensive. I was scared to look at the brand name, "Wear the white shoes with it," he kissed me gently, "I'll meet you in the car in five."

Edward raced out the door and I heard the car door open and close. I slipped the shirt on and ran down to the car. "Six seconds, I'm disappointed."

"I've always been a bit of a tease."

Edward laughed, his face turned towards the ceiling. He started the car and we were off to our first day of school.


	6. A Merry Little Christmas pt1

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas,   
__Let your heart be light.  
__From now on, our troubles will be out of sight._

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas,   
__Make the Yule-tide gay,   
__From now on,  our troubles will be miles away.  
_HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS

**.SOLAR FLARE.**

_2 YEARS POST CHANGE_

Ignoring the need for blood was hard. I had underestimated how much of my mind would be focused on blood. And at the same time, I was minutely aware of what would be happening after the transformation.

After the joy and shock of being this beautiful, terrible creature I broke into terrifying, painful dry sobs. Painful on my dry throat, painful because Edward held me through it all. It didn't take my new and improved senses to hear his heart slowly breaking. I promised myself at that point that I would be strong and never let my guards down. I could never slip up.

It took all my strength and determination to not knock out my entire family and drink the entire near by village. I stayed in my room for weeks, looking back now it was disgusting. Edward would bring me back liters of blood from animals he would catch for me. It was gross but it was what I felt needed to be done.

As my control grew I was able to do something other than mope in a corner and listen to Edward's music collection on shuffle. I worked my way through all the classics I could get my hands on. I taught myself French, became fluent in Spanish.

I beat Jasper at chess. Rosalie laughed at me as she taught me how to change a tire. Emmett and I arm wrestled till Esme forbid us to, we had a tendency to break tables. I helped sort donations with Esme and Alice. Carlisle taught me about the great philosophers.

With each distraction the thirst for blood that had taken over me lessened. I began to notice the subdued feeling my family had. Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie had opted out of going to school for the time being. Carlisle explained that we were all being home-schooled by Esme when his co-workers questioned him.

I felt terrible for causing my entire family to go into this depression. Which was why I decided that nearly two years after I changed, after three successful trips into the city, it was time for the family to have a real Christmas.

I heard little feet scramble down the hallway, "I love it," Alice said, the door banging open. She jumped onto my bed and sat down cross-legged, bouncing with joy. Alice was just the person I needed for this, "I love it, all of it! We can get a tree and decorate the entire house with lights and we can exchange presents."

She walked around my room and picked up a spare notebook and flipped to a blank page, "Now, what if since we can't exactly have a Christmas feast we organized something for the local homeless shelter," by local she meant the town 2 hours away, "and- oh!- we could buy the children there gifts. Which will be totally easy, once I go down there and meet some of the children, I can just take a little peek into the future afterwards. That should work.

"Now, what kinds of food do you have at Christmas? I mean, I know you have the turkey and the ham and the cranberry sauce and the pies and the fruitcake-"

"No fruitcake. No one likes fruitcake."

She frowned, her lips pouting out, sighing she shook away the sad moment and picked up another notebook and handed it to me, "Well, it's not like I ever remember eating a Christmas dinner. Why don't you write down everything we are going to need and Esme can buy it at the store. I'll go make some more lists about what we'll need for both the homeless shelter and for here. Do you think we should get a tree for the shelter as well?" she asked while leaving.

A visit from Alice, no matter how short, was always exhausting.

I opened the notebook and realized it was one that had already been written in. After I had been changed I had so much guilt about talking to Edward about anything, I had kept everything inside. Edward was aware of the emotions I wasn't telling him about, but he respected my wishes and never pried. Although I knew the curiosity drove him insane.

After a few months of my rampant emotions Jasper bought 100's of notebooks for me, spiral bound, the black and white composition ones, drawing pads. He dumped them into my room one day and looked at me; he looked nearly as horrible as I did.

It hit me that by saving Edward from these emotions I was terrorizing Jasper with them, "I don't care if you never tell Edward what you're feeling. It's totally unhealthy but it's your relationship. But if you continue to keep everything bottled up I'm going to do something drastic," he ran his hands through his hair and stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"I'm sorry Jasper, I just wasn't thinking too clearly," I felt terrible for having to put him through everything I felt.

"It's fine, sort of. I went through it too, we all did. Keep that in mind, when it comes to reacting to the change you aren't too special. But you are lucky, Bella, Emmett's the only other person here who had someone they loved with them when they changed, you know that. Write down whatever you're feeling, but maybe you should go talk to Emmett."

I nodded and smiled my thanks.

That night I wrote down everything I had been feeling over the four months since my transformation, in 10 hours alone I had filled up 4 notebooks. I had never been more thankful that as a vampire I would never tire out or develop writer's cramp.

As I held the notebook in my hand I silently thanked Jasper. Writing everything down had brought me back down to earth, the months following the semi-gift I filled well near a hundred journals. I carefully labeled the dates and times, some journals lasted me a few days and some only lasted me a few hours. They were stacked in the corner for a while before the 'clutter' got to Edward and he installed heavy-duty shelves for them. I trusted Edward to not peek in them, although childishly I wanted to find a place to hide them.

It had taken me several months to take Jasper's advice and go talk to Emmett. He was lounging in the living room Xbox controller in hand, Rosalie was laying on the couch behind him one hand in his hair the other flipping the pages of the _Vogue_ that was propped on her knees.

"Hey Bella!" he said jovially, "Come down so I could kick your butt at Brute Force?"

I laughed, Emmett had been trying to get me hooked on Xbox games for several weeks and I hadn't caught the bait yet.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you," I sat down on the seat near the couple and waited.

"About what?" he asked still focused on the game.

"About what happened after you changed," I said quietly.

He paused his game and Rose closed her magazine, "Do you want me to leave?"

"Only if you want to, maybe you're opinion will help me."

Rosalie shifted her legs down to the floor and Emmett sat next to her, automatically grabbing her hand, "What do you want to know, Bella? You know why I was changed, who changed me. You know I've slipped up, almost all of us have. If you do, you won't be the only one and we'll still be here for you, you know that right?"

"Of course, Emmett. But," I bit my lip, trying to figure out how to delve into my array of questions, "It's just, we're kind of in the same situation. Or at least we were. Rosalie saw you, dying, and chose you to be with her forever. She was with you during the transformation, afterwards. Everyone keeps telling me that they all went through the same sort of depression that I'm in, but you're the only one who had the love of your life- your eternity?- with them. What'd you do? Rosalie, what'd did you do?"

Rosalie leaned back and ran her fingers through her long hair, obviously whatever answer she wanted to give had some weight to it.

"Bella, Esme and Carlisle were in the same situation," Emmett reminded me.

"Carlisle and Esme have become somewhat of parental figures to me. I really don't feel comfortable discussing my love life with them, thanks."

Rosalie scoffed, she held the opinion I needed to give up trying to keep Edward and my saucy rendezvous under the covers. Her logic made sense; six teens whose hormones were stuck in overdrive permanently, it was bound to get tiring trying to keep the house PG or even PG-13, I just didn't agree with her way of thinking. At least for now.

Emmett smiled and shook his head, "You know that I was confused like you and that I was accepting of being a vampire," I nodded, "but, I did try and explain what I was going to Rosalie. But, Rosy is a bit more persistent than Edward."

I frowned and turned towards Rosalie, maybe she would give me the answer I wanted so desperately, "It hurt me, knowing that Emmett was thinking these things. Feeling these things. I thought that, if truly had loved him from the moment I saw him in the woods than maybe I should have left him there to die, maybe that would have been better. But, looking back now, it was all worth it."

I sighed. This wasn't what I wanted to hear! I wanted to know that I was doing the right thing by keeping my dark emotions and thoughts away from Edward. I hated knowing that breaking Edward's heart just a little bit more would be helpful in the long run.

"Besides, Bella," Emmett added, "when you're part of this family it's important to be honest. I know Edward's powers don't apply to you, but between Alice and Jasper who don't have immunity to Edward's little gift, it's a little hard to keep any sort of secret. You think that Edward doesn't know what you are going through? He's getting it all second hand from Jasper. We all are, but Edward's getting it the worst."

That talk had been nearly two months ago and I still hadn't been completely honest with Edward. I had told him little bits of what I was thinking or feeling but I hadn't told him everything. He held me tight on the nights when I sobbed over the people I had lost in my life; Charlie, Renee, Jacob, Angela. A part of me even missed Mike and his crew.

I hated crying in Edward's arms, but once his arms were around me I never wanted to leave them. Despite the pain sweeping through me I drew comfort from Edward, as usual.

"You're writing again?" Edward asked when he walked in from a hunting trip. Ever since I had confided what the journals were for he grew worried when I began writing more.

"No, Alice and I are planning something. She wanted me to write out some lists, she just handed me an old journal on accident."

"What are you planning?" Edward asked from the closet. Before being changed I had figured that Edward and his family did everything at vampire speed all the time. During one of my more up beat moods I had questioned Edward about this.

"If you had all eternity to do something, Bella, why on earth would you do it even faster?" he had asked back, shaking his head in the way that made me feel incredibly naïve.

"Well?" he asked, sitting down on the bed next to me in freshly changed clothes.

I hadn't decided if I wanted the entire Christmas thing to be a surprise, but I figured if Emmett's advice had paid through before I might as well continue listening to it. In this house, secrets didn't last.

"Christmas," I got up from the bed and sat the journal on the shelf.

"Christmas?"

"Yes, Edward, Christmas. The holiday where Christians celebrate Jesus' birth despite the fact that he was probably born in the spring… and most Christmas symbols actually originate from Pagan holidays. Presents. St. Nick. Tree. Presents. Snow. Caroling. Roast beast. Any of this ringing a bell?"

"I remember Christmas, thank you, Bella. But when did you decide to 'plan Christmas'? And when did you become so cynical?"

I rolled my eyes, "Look, it's just with all my writing and with talking with Rosalie and Emmett and Jasper I'm starting to realize what a pain I've been on this family," he took a breath ready to fight back any insult I was about to fling at myself, "Don't. I feel bad, I can't help that. I want to try and pay everyone back for being such a Debbie Downer for the past year or so. And why are you arguing, I just want to have a tree and lights and candles and presents," I huffed, "and sing carols while you play the piano. Come on!"

"You're adorable. You're insane, but you're adorable," he grabbed me into a hug but I pulled back ignoring his hurt face.

"And we can watch _The Grinch_!"

"_The Grinch_?" Edward asked, he looked completely shocked.

"_The Grinch Who Stole Christmas_, the 1966 version. It's my favorite cartoon Christmas movie."

"Why?"

"It's a beautiful story, Edward. His heart grew three sizes that day. Stop being such a Scrooge!" I tapped his shoulder, he took my hand in his and brought it to his mouth, kissing the palm.

"I'm not, Bella. I'm just a little taken aback. I've never seen you around the holidays. Are you normally like this?" he kept my hand in his, softly running his fingers over the pads on my palm.

"Not really. Renee loved doing Christmas. She would drive hours just to go to a farm where she could cut the tree down herself, it was always a messy procedure. Sap everywhere. The day after Thanksgiving she would put lights all over the house, it was crazy. But she loved it," I curled into Edward's chest, "I don't remember my last Christmas, but I'm assuming you weren't there."

It was my choice to not remember the time when Edward left me. There were things in my life I clung to; meeting Edward, my friendship with Jake, my parents. And even though I wrote about these memories they would slip further and further away, reading the journals that contained the memories was like reading a book the closely rivaled my life. Everything felt familiar, but still fuzzy.

"No, which is why this will be the best Christmas ever, especially with Alice's help. Carlisle might not be here though, he works holidays," I was happy that Edward understood why I wanted an extravagant Christmas but knowing a member of our family would be missing was disappointing, "We'll do something special after his shift though. I promise."

I found a clean notebook and opened it up, explaining Alice's idea to serve a dinner at the homeless shelter in the nearby town. I began writing down everything we would need, Edward rested his head on top of mine and watched as my slightly improved handwriting covered the page. He gave little input, I was the only one in the house who could remember an entire dinner.

Several minutes passed before Edward spoke, "Could I borrow a few journals?"

Besides the already filled journals Edward had shown little interest in the journals, as long as I kept them in a tidy pile in the corner.

"Go ahead, I have plenty," Edward rose from the bed and grabbed a few journals.

"I'll be outside in the gazebo," he said simply.

I was perplexed, why didn't Edward just stay here and write at the desk or the couch? But I had other things to worry about, if this Christmas thing was going to go off correctly than I would have to get presents for everyone.

I had never hated shopping more.


	7. A Merry Little Christmas pt2

_Here we are as in olden days,   
__Happy golden days of yore.   
__  
Faithful friends who are dear to us,  
__Gather near to us once more.  
__  
Through the years we all will be together,  
__If the Fates allow._

_Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.  
__And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.  
_HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS

**.SOLAR FLARE.**

Alice had been trying to explain to me that the pain my feet were feeling was completely psychological, I wasn't so sure. Even as a vampire eight hours of walking around a mall had to merit for some sort of physical pain. We had made multiple trips to the car transferring bags into the trunk of Alice's truck.

It was her newest car and even the sight of her next to it was hilarious, seeing the inside with the booster seat and pedal extensions was even funnier.

I had accomplished all my shopping, it was Alice and Rosalie that were keeping us up. They had been ohing and awing over everything in the toy stores for the past half hour. It was annoying, but I could grasp why they were so taken with buying toys for little kids. Rosalie especially.

I however, the leader of the Christmas Extravaganza, was sitting on an empty shelf at the front of store quickly texting Edward in the pocket of my hoodie. He was the only person who I hadn't bought anything for so far, I had no idea what he wanted.

_I have everything I want, Bella!_

**There HAS to be something…**

_Nothing._

**Seriously! A CD? A book? Give me a hook!**

_I already have you Bella. I'm complete._

In other circumstances his sweet words would have made me weak in the knees and swooning against him, but now I was just irritated. This was our first Christmas together and in order for it to be perfect I had to get something for Edward. It just wouldn't make sense if I didn't get him something.

_What do you want?_

**I want to know what you want for Christmas, Edward!**

_No, silly. What do YOU want for Christmas?_

I groaned and leaned my head on the shelf behind me.

I had no idea what I wanted. I, like Edward, was complete at this point.

_Ignoring me?_

**Edward, I don't know what I want!**

_See?_

I wanted to stamp my feet, he wasn't really asking me what I wanted. He just wanted to prove a point.

"Please, Bella, we aren't that slow," Rosalie said. She was carrying even more bags, I hadn't realized they had chosen more toys for the children at the center. I ducked my head; I had thought I was being clever with texting in my sweater. I still didn't understand why they didn't want me talking to Edward while we were shopping. Rosalie had complained about girl time… but we lived in a house together 24/7… we had girl time all the time.

"Are we ready to go? They're gonna kick us out soon."

Alice sighed, "We can go Bella. You're such a kill joy. You're the one who wanted to do Christmas."

"Normally we keep everything subdued here," Rosalie piped in. I had a hard time believing that; I had seen pictures from Rosalie's multiple weddings, "Well, we do."

"I know I wanted to do this big Christmas, but we could have done all of this online," I led them quickly towards the parking lot, lest they be side tracked by some store we had managed to miss.

"Bella, it's all about the experience," Alice sighed.

We had made our way to the car and with the extra bags safely Alice started her truck and we made our way back to the house.

&

Christmas was in two days and I still hadn't found the perfect present for Edward. Esme and I were working diligently in the kitchen getting ready for the party on Christmas Eve, cooking was so much harder as a vampire. Not only was every smell absolutely repulsive but taste testing anything was useless as well. The boys had lost count of how many times we had asked them to go the store for us.

Between trips to the store the boys were busy decorating the house and wrapping the presents for the kids at the shelter, Alice and Rosalie were decorating there. Carlisle was busy at the hospital.

"Esme, do you know what I should get Edward?" I had already asked Alice and she explained, exasperatedly, that she wouldn't know until I decided. I had figured, after Carlisle Esme knew Edward the longest; perhaps she could give me more insight. I felt awful for having to resort to this, Edward was my husband, I should know him well enough to be able to buy a present for him, but he did have everything he wanted.

"Oh, Bella, you'll think of something," from her tone of voice it was obvious I wasn't the only one frustrated by my lack of present buying skills. I didn't mean to plague my family members with my troubles, but I just had to make this Christmas perfect. Which meant getting the perfect gift for Edward, "Whatever you do don't get him music paper, I already got him a ream of it."

I smiled, Edward did love music. Esme had already covered the music paper but perhaps he needed something else for his playing. Edward had learned long ago how to tune his piano, so paying someone to tune it would be pointless, "What about recording CDs?"

"Carlisle grabbed them," Esme said kindly. I knew that Alice and Rosalie had bought him books and that Emmett and Jasper had added their names to their wife's presents. It was so easy for them.

"Esme, how did you know what to get Carlisle?" I sat down on the counter and rubbed my flour-y hands on my jeans.

She looked my sweetly, "Bella, it's not about whether or not you spent money on the gift or the amount of money spent. It's about the thought behind it."

I contemplated what she had said, _it's about the thought behind it_.

That was it; it was so simple and easy. It was right there all along.

&

The fragrant food everywhere made being around the children easier to handle. The center looked beautiful. You could see the grey dingy walls behind the streamers and holly but the dank feeling was easier to ignore with the festive colors everywhere. The tree was outrageous, at least fifteen feet tall, flocked and covered in bright lights and ornaments. The presents were piled high and the parents were having a hard time restraining their children during the meal. Of course it was Alice's idea to have the meal before presents, she had never experienced the anticipation of opening presents on Christmas Day.

Seeing the parent's bright smiles as the children ripped open their presents was heartwarming. The wrapping paper was in the air in minutes, all of our work thrown away for a few short minutes of chaos. The children and teens were delighted with their gifts, the parents of the younger children were thrilled with the baskets full of baby raising gear.

The night was successful and we made sure that everyone had a toiletry bag and a warm jacket before the evening was over. On the way home we all agreed that we would do this every year, no matter where we were living at that moment.

&

Edward and I got out of bed early on Christmas morning. I laughed at the sight of my family from over the balcony. Although none of us slept all of us were wearing thick flannel pajamas. Alice had the TV turned on to The Yule Log, a roaring fire would apparently be too dangerous for a group a vampires. More specifically Edward thought an ember would fly across the room and hit me.

The windows were iced over and a few feet of snow was evident through the glaze. It was certainly going to be a white Christmas. I could feel the anticipation of the upcoming snowball fight Alice had planned.

We sat around the tree, Emmett playing Santa complete with fake beard and hat. The presents underneath the tree all looked pretty repetitive. We had all bought and received books for and from everyone. It made sense though, we had all the time in the world and we all spent it either reading or learning new things so we could improve on our own skills.

Jasper's books were informative; he was currently interested in the many tribes of Africa. Although Carlise would open his presents later on tonight I knew his books were mostly medical; Esme's all about DIY home decorating. Alice had received books on fashion and she did a wonderful job at acting surprised. Rosalie books on foreign automobiles. Rosalie had thrown a wad of paper at my head for calling them cars, apparently that was too common of a word. I had received first editions of all Jane Austen's books.

Edward was the only one of us who didn't receive books, everything he had received was music based, stacks of CDs from Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett and the music sheets and CDs from Esme and Carlisle.

I relaxed into Edward's lap and he combed his hands through my hair spreading the curls over his legs. Wrapping paper was everywhere and from my position it looked as if it were taking over the room.

"Do you want to come upstairs for a minute?" Edward asked as the other couples got together and examined their gifts together.

"Of course," I sat up and he took my hand. I wasn't sure if anyone noticed we left.

I sat down on the small couch in our room, nervous to give Edward his present. But I was also a little unnerved that I hadn't received anything from him. Of course, I was perfectly content with my life and I was sure another necklace or ring from Edward's vast collection of inherited jewels wouldn't change that… but as Esme had told me it was the thought that counted behind the gift.

"Shopping for you is hard, Bella," Edward stated. I smiled, I had felt the same way about him before my talk with Esme, "But, then I realized what the perfect gift for you was."

"And what's that, Edward?" I asked. I was wondering myself, I hadn't asked for anything.

"Me," he said simply.

It took a moment for me to respond with a scoff, "Although I agree wholeheartedly Edward, don't you think that's a bit conceited of you?" I slouched against the back the couch and crossed my arms. I couldn't wait for his response.

He smiled and dug a box out from under the bed, "I mean that- Bella, you have most of your human memories pretty clearly in your head right now and some of them will stay there. The impressions of them at least. But, I wanted to give you something that I hope will help cement the memories of at least our time together while you were human."

I frowned and opened the box; I certainly hadn't seen this coming. Inside the box was a stack of journals, I looked up at Edward and waited for him to explain. He set the box on the floor and sat down next to me, "Every journal in there is a moment in time for us, for you. Over half of them contain our first trip to the meadow. I filled nearly half a journal with just our first kiss. Several are from when I was saving you from some hazard or another. I only had time to do a handful for prom. I will write everything though, Bella, everything I can."

"Even the time when you weren't with me?"

"You mean-"

"Yes."

"I tried to, Bella, I really tried to. But, everything was so dark then. I don't like revisiting that time, I wish more than ever I had the ability to forget things. I wish I could erase that time," I covered his mouth with mine and he shut up enthusiastically.

"I love this. It's a perfect companion to my gift-"

"Bella, I told you, you didn't have to get me anything. I already have you."

"Right and I was talking with Jasper and he told me that our relationship is unhealthy," before Edward could refute I continued, "At first I disagreed but then I realized, I wasn't being completely honest with you. The past two years I haven't told you everything I've been feeling and I know that's hurt you. So," I stood up, "as my Christmas present to you, I give you permission to read The Journals."

He stood up so quickly even with my vampire sight it was hard to catch; he took my hands, "Bella, I don't think I can do that. Those are your personal thoughts, they're-"

"They're what I should have been talking to you about. Just read them in the order they're on the shelf, right to left. Everything should make sense," I smiled and nodded my head reassuringly.

I grabbed a handful of Edward's journals and Edward took some of mine. We laid on the bed for hours, tangled up in each other reading, shifting through pages. At certain points Edward his hands through my hair, obviously reading something that was hard for him to hear.

At some point Alice came and knocked on the door asking if we wanted to join the snowball fight, Edward and I looked up and responded in synchronicity, "Maybe later."

**Merry Christmas, Everyone!**

**For those who are curious** _The Journals_ **is up.**


	8. Between the Lines

_I tell myself all the words he surely meant to say.  
__I'll talk until the conversation doesn't stay on.  
__Wait for me I'm almost ready.  
__When he meant let go.  
_

_Leave unsaid unspoken,  
__Eyes wide shut unopened.  
__You and me,  
__Always between the lines.  
_BETWEEN THE LINES, SARA BARIELLES

**.SOLAR FLARE.**

I had a small bag packed and was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed against my chest and one foot up against the wall. I had already said good-bye to everyone, Edward was the last person. Jasper and Alice had left, apologizing profusely for bowing out so soon but they just couldn't take Edward's pigheaded behavior much longer. Even Rosalie, the most tenacious of them all, thought Edward was going above and beyond his usual stubbornness.

We had spent almost the entire night arguing and yelling about my need to visit Jacob. It had been years since I had heard anything about him and even though we were all sure the pack had stopped changing Alice still couldn't get a firm grasp on their future actions and Edward still felt that because of that they posed some risk for me. Edward was certain that my showing up would cause Jake to change and hurt me or kill me.

"It's just not safe, Bella. I don't feel comfortable with you going there by yourself. It's dangerous and it's breaking the rules." Apparently it didn't matter that we had fused some sort of awkward relationship with the wolves when Victoria was alive meant absolutely nothing, apparently Carlisle and Edward going on to the reservation hadn't changed anything about that pact.

"You of all people should know that rules are meant to be broken."

"Meaning what?" he asked shortly. His jaw was set firmly in place, it appeared that he had no intentions of changing his opinion no matter how much I yelled and screamed at him.

"Oh, I don't know… _me_ knowing about vampires and werewolves. There's a nice big one that we broke!"

"You figured both of those out by yourself. The rules can be broken when a person who is brilliant enough can gain the knowledge herself. Besides, I never told you anything. Jacob Black, if anyone, is the one to be hold accountable for you knowing about everything."

"But _you_ didn't exactly deny being a vampire!"

"Like I could deny you anything," he scoffed.

"You are right now!" I had slammed myself down onto the couch, pulling my hair harshly away from my face. "You're so hypocritical, Edward!"

"This is different."

"Not really."

We stared at each other, me sitting on the couch and Edward leaning against the mattress of our bed. Moments passed. It could have been seconds, minutes or hours. It didn't matter in the end because the fire flaming in both of our eyes didn't die, but continued to simmer and pop with determination and resentment. He sat down next to me, respecting my space and sitting on the opposite end. His stance was similar to mind, feet on the floor, knees together, back straight and arms crossed.

"I'm going no matter what you say Edward." I couldn't bear to look at him. "You can be angry with me all you want, but he was my best friend, he still is! You know…." I managed to look at him, preparing myself to fight dirty. Throw sand in his eyes, spit in his face, stomp on his foot, pull his hair and run for it. "You know, I don't know if I'd be here if it weren't for him. I don't know how things would have gone for me when you were—away. You might not have come back to something alive."

"I would hardly call the state you were in alive."

"I mean, you might not have come back to something with a beating heart."

Back in the foyer I stared at him long and hard, waiting for him to start begging again.

"Let me drive you. I'll wait at the line. Please, I'd feel so much better." I was almost getting as good as Alice when it came to this guessing the future thing. At least when it came to Edward. Part of me wanted to say yes to him because no matter how stubborn I could be I didn't like Edward being in any sort of pain anymore than he liked to see me in pain. But I knew that if I did say yes there was a bigger chance that he would ruin the visit by either hearing something he didn't like or getting fed up with being kept away from me in what he saw as a 'dangerous situation.'

"I need to do this by myself, Edward. I'll be back before the sun comes up, I promise you that. And I'll call. On the road, before I see him, when I leave. I'll play it all safe, the moment I sense any danger I'll leave and call you. Speed dial number one," I showed him the screen of the palm-sized cell phone. "You even override my voicemail," I smiled sadly. I needed to visit Jacob, but I couldn't leave Edward when he was angry. It'd break my heart for the time I was gone. "Trust me. I'll be okay. Even if they do get pissed that I'm on their land what are they really going to do?"

"You called though, right? They know you're coming."

I nodded and rubbed my lips together. "I got a hold of Emily. Sam's wife. She didn't want me to come; she's scared that me being there will trigger something in her son and cause him to change. I promised I'd only stay for a few hours. I'll be back before you know it."

He looked at me, angry but defeated. "I'll walk you to the car," he placed his hand on the small of my back and led me out the door and to the car that was parked in the driveway. I threw my bag through the driver side window and into the passenger seat. I leaned back against the door and looked up at Edward's beautiful face.

"I love you Edward, please don't let me leave while you're mad." His fingertips grazed my cheek, the touch was too soft and I grabbed his hand I pressed it harder against my cheek. If it weren't for my improved senses I never would have seen the small movement he made from where he was standing a foot away from to nearly on top of me and kissing me hard. One hand was on my waist and the other was behind my neck pressing me even closer to him. I pulled away, pointlessly breathing hard, "I'll be back in under 24 hours."

"That's too long."

I smiled and shrugged at him, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"I don't have to be away from you to love you more than I do now."

I wrinkled my forehead and pulled away from him, "What a line, Mr. Cullen." I got in the car and started it.

"Hurry home, Mrs. Cullen," he said, leaning in through the open window of the car.

It wasn't two hours into my drive when my phone rang, "Are you heading home yet?" Edward's voice came out loud and clear through the speaker's of the car.

"No, Edward," I said contemptuously. His persistence was cute, but irritating.

&

I stopped the car right outside Washington. If it weren't for the fact that I knew my system didn't work like that anymore I would have thought the feeling in my stomach was my last meal getting ready to be thrown up. My nerves had been getting the best of me ever since I had gotten off the phone with Edward when I hit Idaho. The leather covering on the steering wheel had been rubbed away a while ago; I was going to need to buy a new steering wheel before heading back home.

I slowed the car down as I neared La Push and eased off to the side of the road, I asked the car's computer to dial Edward and waited while the car connected me to him. "Bella?" he asked breathlessly.

"I'm impressed Edward, you were away from your phone. Good job."

"The guys forced me to go hunting," he was like a seven year old being forced to do the dishes.

I laughed into the phone. "Poor baby." Things got awkward suddenly and I wasn't sure what to say to Edward. In the past two and a half decades very little had been denied in our relationship. We were open and honest, we shared almost everything. He knew every vulnerable part of me. And yet, I had no clue what to say to him when he disapproved so vehemently of what I was doing. "So, I'm about to go see him. I told you I would call."

"You made good timing." Edward of all people would make a comment on my driving.

"I learned from the best," again I laughed and had no clue what to say afterwards.

"How long are you going to be there?"

"A few hours max. I don't even know if he'll want to see me or talk to me, I might just be turning around in another few minutes. I'll call though, before I head back."

"Call me when you need me."

"Always. I love you Edward."

"I love you too, Bella."

I pressed the End button on the steering wheel and shut the car off, the hum that was silent to human ears halted. I took two unnecessary deep breathes before opening the door and making a run for it. Running (and running fast) was the only thing that would get me to Jake's front door, if I walked towards the reservation I'd be more likely turn around and head back to Edward. I had given myself very little time to think about what I was doing because that was the only way I'd be able to get through this.

It wasn't long before I reached Jake's porch. I had wanted to see Jake so badly for the past several years and now that I was here I couldn't even bring myself to knock on his door. Instead I listened hard for the voices inside. The building had still maintained it's original shape, but over the years it had been fortified with newer materials that were thick and sturdy. They were able to withstand the harsh weather that came off of the ocean, but they also helped keep prying vampire ears from listening to someone through them. Esme had fortified all of her houses with them once she got her hands on the material, inside and out.

"Is Abby gonna be alright, Dad?" It was a young boy that spoke, he sounded similar to Jake and I assumed him to be his son. _His son_. Jacob had a son, it was a thought to bizarre to even think of, perhaps it was his nephew. I couldn't get any scents from out on the porch.

"Of course, Will. She just has what you had. The flu, nothing more." That was Jacob. Jacob talking to the boy. It was his son. I smiled in bemusement. Jake had come so far since I had left.

After more conversation between Jake and his son I heard a woman ask his he wanted something. His wife possibly. _God_, Jake had a wife. Things were just getting weirder and weirder. Even though they shouldn't have been, that's what people did when they could age and grow up. They got married and had children and owned houses. In my stable state I could only do some of that. Jake answered the woman and I realized that she was probably making food of some sort. The fact that his eating habits hadn't changed made me laugh, I covered my mouth before the sound traveled far enough for any human ear to hear.

It was silence before the woman started speaking again, she was calming Jake down about something. His daughter, the woman, Clara, was calming him down about his sick daughter. I prayed to God that it was just something like a cough or even just croup. The conversation went on, Clara pointing out the Jake was just being his usual overprotective self, something I remembered vaguely from my limited human memories.

After a little while longer a small girl's voice sounded out, asking to go to the beach. Jake kept refusing, but it seemed to be a losing battle for him. That was exactly the kind of father I would expect Jake to be, trying to refuse his daughter everything and giving her anything she wanted.

As he helped her with her coat and rain gear I realized that this was the point where I would need to knock on the door and announce myself. Vampire or not it wasn't polite to linger on someone's doorstep for so long. Someone would think I was a stalker or something.

As I walked over to the door fear surged through me again, my moments of playing a eves dropper were over. _Now or never, Bella, now or never._ Jake said a short good bye to his wife. _Now or never._ It wasn't too late to turn around, I could be half way to the car before he even opened the door. His hand was on the handle. _Now or never, Bella._

The door opened. Jake stood there with a small girl in his arms. He had aged so much it surprised me, light wrinkles lined his forehead and a few grey hairs dotted his hairline. The little girl, I only knew she was girl by the vast amount of pink that swaddled her body since she was covered head to toe in rain gear, was chanting "beach, beach, beach," over and over again, happily tugging on Jake's hair. He shushed her and then spoke to me.

"Bella, you're not welcome here." He looked furious and I really didn't blame him. Had I honestly expected him to just drop everything he had (and obviously what he had was some precious cargo) and welcome me into open arms. I knew I was safe from any attack because Emily had assured me that no one was changing anymore, but also because Jake hadn't realized until this moment that I was outside.

Even though I knew resentment was a definite possibility when it came to Jake seeing me again, I couldn't help but be hurt by it. "Jake," I said softly.

"I won't let you hurt my family Bella. Please leave. Just because no one is changing anymore doesn't mean you should take advantage of that. I thought you'd want to prove me wrong about you being different. I was right though, you are just a heartless bloodsucker."

If I was heartless his statement wouldn't have just twisted the knife that he had lodged into my heart. The little girl in his arms spoke up. "She has a heart, Daddy, she's alive. Duh." The girl, no matter how young, had spunk and attitude I had to admire. It reminded me so much of Jacob. He pressed her head against his shoulder, refusing to let me see her face.

"Bella, please leave. Please respect what we had and just go. If I wanted to see you I would have wrote you back."

"Jake, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. To make sure you were happy. I still care about you. I would never hurt you—or your family."

"Why should I trust a leech?"

"You should trust your best friend, Jacob."

A woman's hand appeared on his shoulder, it had to be Clara. She was a little taller than me, but aging gracefully, something I could never do. "Jake? What's going on?"

"It's an old friend. She's leaving."

"Jake, don't be rude," she reprimanded, "Let her come in. Offer her something to drink, just because you used to be a wild animal doesn't mean you need to be uncivilized," she finished softly, not intending me to hear.

Jake turned to talk to her more directly, he kept a careful hand on his daughter's head though, keeping her out of my sight. "I'm not letting a vampire into my home. I'm not letting her hurt my family," he hissed.

Realization flooded her face, "This is her. The girl you loved before me," Clara nodded and rubbed her lips together, "You should go talk with her. I trust you and I trust her." Her words shocked me. It took all I had to not choke on the venom in my mouth. She smiled at me. "Take Anna to the beach and talk with your old friend, please."

Jake stared at her for sometime and I regretted that I had refused Edward's company on this trip since it would have come in handy at this point. I wanted so desperately to know what was going on through Jake's head. "Don't open the door for anyone else," he begged.

"Honestly Jake, if her family wanted us dead wouldn't we be dead by now?" Her smile was soft and sad.

He kissed her cheek and swiftly shut the door. I didn't like this at all; it wasn't supposed to be like this. "If I had known you were going to hate me so much I wouldn't have come. I should have listened to Emily." I exhaled a deep breath and I could feel the salt particles sticking to the inside of my nose. I started to walk towards the tide.

"You talked to Emily?" he inquired from behind me. It was a nice sign, he was still talking to me and he was following me to the beach. A small conversation with him wasn't completely hopeless after all.

"I wanted to get permission to come here. She advised me not to, said you'd moved on… but it's just something I needed to see with my own eyes. I'm not staying long if that's what you're worried about. She wasn't sure how long my presence would be needed to start the whole werewolf thing again, I'll be out of the state before the sunsets," I looked back at him, he may be following me but his face was still set in stone. Absolute and complete disgust. "But, if you're just going to look at me like I'm some enemy-monster than I'll just go now," I hadn't meant to be so short with him, it had just come out like that. _Great job Bella, if he didn't fear for his life before he is now._

I could feel his eyes judging me. Looking at each small, perfect feature I had gained. I couldn't help but feel like a cow at a cattle show. I pulled gently on the strings of the sweatshirt I had on.

"Daddy, pretty!" Anna screamed from her position over his shoulder. Her loved hand pointed to a sand dollar on the sand, 57 grains of sand covered it. A small portion was chipped off and a crack went from the chip to the middle of the dollar, disfiguring the design in the middle. But to human eyes it was perfect. "Get it for me, pwease!" The small girl was so wild with excitement that Jake couldn't find the balance to bend down to the sand, I smiled, so much had changed since I had left. Before, it was Jake that was the graceful supernatural being, now I held that position. I picked the shell up with the tips of my fingers, I was a still a little wary of my strength and generally left things this delicate to be handled by someone with more experience.

My newborn clumsiness came in handy, after breaking five necklaces Edward had promised to not buy me any jewelry for the next fifty years. Anna's small hand clasped around the shell, her eyes were wide with wonder at the new thing. "What's 'at?"

"It's a sand dollar," Jacob explained.

"A dowyer? How much is it worth?"

Jake stared at the shell long and hard. I couldn't help but smile at him in amazement. Just like Anna seeing a new shell for the first time, I was seeing Jake, my Jacob, in a brand new light.

"A hug."

"Dat's stoopid." I snickered behind them as Jake reprimanded Anna's language.

"Stupid isn't a nice word, Annabelle." Anna_belle_. Clara had only called her Anna, but that must have just been a nickname. I found it odd that Jake would name his daughter something so close to my own name. I would have thought that he would have strayed away from anything that reminded him of me.

"So?" Annabelle talked back. Jake just smiled and gave up.

"Anna_belle_?" I asked Jake.

"Eh, yeah," Jake set Annabelle down and she scampered off in front of us. "Anna_bella_ is a family name, Clara didn't like the sound though. I didn't like it either," I could see him peering at me, trying to be sly about checking out my reaction, but I kept my face perfectly calm.

"Annabelle is a pretty name. Your son calls her Abby?" He frowned at me. "I was outside for awhile before knocking," I shrugged. I couldn't help my nerves. My ears rang when he ground his teeth together in what could have been anger.

"Uhm, yeah. Annabelle was too much of a mouthful for William when she was first born, you know?" I nodded as if I knew exactly what he meant, as if I had seen a child go through the different stages of speech. But I knew nothing beyond the classes I had taken at college. With things like children I could only gain knowledge and experience through other people and through education. I would never have children of my own, but that was the price I paid for getting Edward for the rest of forever. And I was perfectly happy with that, children might have been what Jake wanted in his future, but bringing a child into my life would have been dangerous. I had a hard enough time keeping track of myself.

I looked at the bundle of pink that was splashing in the left over water the waves left behind. "She's gorgeous," I said, even though I had only seen the smallest bit of her face. Jake's wife was pretty though, in a human way and Jake was handsome of course, their children would only end up being attractive. "And you make a great dad. It's cute. You're very protective of her."

"Clara says I'm overprotective about the women in my life. She says I spoil Annabelle too much, she doesn't want her to act like a spoiled brat when she's older. But I can't help it I can't deny her anything. I can't deny either of them anything."

"Yeah, I kind of remember you having a problem with saying no, of course you also had a problem with taking no for an answer." He didn't respond. "You have a son too," I mentioned, drifting away from the painful memories of the past. They were probably more painful for Jacob, who could remember them clearly. I only vaguely remembered what had happened between us when Victoria was making her army, I knew that more than amiable feelings were shared between us though.

"Yeah, William, after my father. He's seven. Annabelle's four. Will's brilliant, freaky off the charts… I have a hard time keeping up with him. It's hard to connect with him. But I gotta be there for him, you know? I grew up without a mother and that was hard enough. I know Clara thinks I'm only protective about her and Annabelle, but I'd do anything for Will too."

I could hear the ache in his voice. I knew that Jake could give me a run for my money when it came to stressing out. "You're a wonderful father, Jake," I soothed. "Give yourself some credit, you're smarter than you think. Maybe not book smart, but you have things to offer him. Don't doubt yourself."

"Where'd all this wisdom come from?"

"Well I don't sleep," I said dryly. It was a matter of fact. Sure, the night was filled with other things between Edward and I but even after that there was free time when you never had to sleep, eat (regularly at least) or use the restroom. It was amazing how those small portions of time could really add up to huge chunks of your day.

"Insomnia's the key to everything."

"Pretty much," I smiled. "So you and Clara?" I went on to a new topic, drifting away from my vampire life. "You're married."

"Yeah, going on forever, I guess. She's the one who's good with numbers. She's my imprint. I feel like I've known her forever. Like the time we're together doesn't really matter because I know we'll never be parted. It's kind of intense."

"I'd imagine so," no matter what Jake believed that was how I felt about Edward.

When we reached the tide pools Jake grabbed both of Annabelle's hands in hopes that she would remain dry rather then try and pick up any of the strange animals on the bottom of the shallow, rocky pools.

"Uhm, I don't want details but how have you been?" his voice was shakey with curiosity. Like the way a human drove near road kill, they wanted to see the slaughter, but they didn't want to see it at the same time. Even though I had been human, I would never be able to understand that. I had always sped up when passing the carnage of clumsy animals.

"Well, I went to Dartmouth, like Edward wanted. I double majored in English and Philosophy. Both completely useless but it's not like it matters. I never thought I'd like philosophy but Edward and Jasper convinced me to take the first course and I was hooked. You know, all the time in the world to ponder things, philosophy is pretty interesting," I trailed off; I had done it again, without even meaning to I had brought my new life into the conversation. "Sorry. It's hard. I mean, it hasn't been that long in comparison to everyone else but… I think you just get used to the vastness of it all. You know?"

He looked bewildered.

"I mean, think about how everything is so connected and it all works out in one way or another. I mean…" he seemed with me so far, "if you hadn't been so pissed at me after I left you never would have stayed a wolf so long, am I right? I mean, since leaving I've been the first vampire to come back here so there's really been no reason for anyone here to change, right? And if you had stopped changing you would have been too old for Clara. It all works out in the end, it doesn't matter how you get there I guess. I don't know, just a theory. I've got lots of them."

It was silent for some time, I noticed that the sun was nearing the horizon. Jake had noticed too. "I'll leave now. Thank you for not going all Buffy on me or something."

"I don't think I could anymore, Bells." He sounded sincere and honest. It was nice.

I had no clue what to say now because there were no words for this kind of a good-bye. In all of the education I had received in the past twenty years there was nothing about how to say good-bye to your friend forever. Annabelle began jumping up and down in his arms. "Hey! Hey! Heeeeeeey!" He let go of her hands and she reached into her pocket and handed me the shell from earlier. "Here ya go." The shell that was worth one hug. I smiled at the young but observant girl, she smiled back her mouth full of pearl like baby teeth.

"So, I think, if I recall correctly, that I can buy a hug with this," I held up the piece and smiled, realizing him I had trapped him.

"Bella," he groaned.

"Jake," I sighed, "Please? I mean, I haven't seen you in almost twenty-five years. You're my best friend Jake! And you're not that great of a pen pal. And I'm assuming you don't really want me back here, which I understand completely," I was speeding over my words, just waiting for him to completely deny me this one simply thing. "Just one hug. You're almost completely human now Jake, it shouldn't bother you. The smell I mean."

He looked towards his daughter who was playing with some creature in one of the pools. With his eyes still on Annabelle he wrapped his arms around me and I returned the action. He really ranked. Worse than just walking near him. But it was still nice in a rather masochistic way. "Don't break me, Bells."

"Well, I have to get you back for the broken hand somehow!" I teased. He ruffled my hair up and smiled as well. "I gotta run if I'm gonna be out of the state before it gets dark."

"You'll go that fast? I thought you hated speeding."

"It grows on you," I said honestly. "I love you Jake, remember that."

"Of course, Bella. Thank you, for everything. I love you too."

I looked from Jake back to his daughter who was still making friends with the tide pool creatures. With one last quick smile that Jacob might have missed I turned around and ran. I knew that to his eyes it would appear that I had just disappeared from my place on the sand. And now that I knew that Jake was happy in his new life that was how I wanted it. I didn't want to send letters and do check-ups on him because I didn't need to worry about his welfare anymore. His trouble wasn't over, he had to work on his relationship with his son and his daughter was sure to raise hell (and get away with it) at every chance that she came upon. But he wasn't in the dark place he had been when I had left. He was truly happy in the new life that he had just happened upon and that little piece of the puzzle that I had been missing finally fell into place.

When I got the car I removed my clothing that still smelled like werewolf. It was odd that certain things like that would stay with him. I threw the ruined items into the woods laughing at what a stray hiker would think of the clothing if they were ever happened upon. I pulled out the bag I had packed and pulled on the dated but comfortable sweats. Alice would kill me if she knew I was wearing them in public… actually, she probably knew that I was come to think of it. But there was no way that even I would leave the car in these, they'd draw too much attention to me.

Once on the road again I pressed the redial button on the dashboard.

"Edward?"

"Love," he answered.

"I'm coming home."

"I'm anxiously awaiting your arrival," his voice was just the smallest whisper. There was so much in his voice that made me want to drive faster than even this car would allow. There was want, even an oblivious human would be able to realize that, but there was also the love that I felt every day, the misery from being away from me and something deep in there that took a bit for me to analyze.

"Are you happy?"

"Bella, you sound glad which, in turn, makes me exultant. You must realize by now that my every emotion lies inside of your own, it's the key to why I can't deny you anything."

"I love you Edward."

"Hurry home, my love."

"I'll hurry home to you."

**AN: **Finally, an end to _Solar Flare_. Kind of. Since this story doesn't have a continuous plot and now that _Breaking Dawn_ is out I feel a little silly continuing with this story. If something amazing comes to mind I'll keep adding to this, but for now what I wanted to accomplish with this story was accomplished. Almost every post-_Eclipse_ question was cleared up with the exception of the Volturi, which I never intended to cover. I also never intended to cover Bella's power.

Thanks for reading and happy reading,

Samantha

not done baking

c:

**AD:** I've posted a new story and I'd really appreciate if you could go check it out. I really wanna know what you all think before I get too into it. It's called _Life Right Now._

**ALSO: **find Jake's point of view in _Send in the Clowns_.


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